I'm behind on my digital cable bill and I also want an Iphone. Can I get a bailout?

I shouldn't have to choose between having digital cable and an Iphone. This is America and I deserve both. Besides, Comcast suckered me into getting the most expensive cable package. They gave a teaser rate for 6 months, then the price went up! That's not right. My issue with the cable company is no different than the issue with the shifty banks that screwed over people by giving them adjustable rate mortgages. If they get bailouts to keep them in their homes, why can't I get a bailout to keep my cable on? Doesn't Uncle Barack feel my pain?